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Thelexmachine's Bio and Free Webcam
- Real Name:
- Lex || IS IN LIMBO until who knows when
- Birth Date:
- May 23, 1981
- Interested In:
- Men, Women, Trans, Couples
- the wrong planet
- Last Broadcast:
- 21 hours, 36 minutes
- English-progressive 1st world, un petit peu Français, body/nonverbal, gibberish, troll, one-handed type and autocorrect
- Body Type:
- body positive
- Smoke / Drink:
- Dig stoners. Not a fan of cigarettes or alcohol.
- Body Decorations:
- 3 small tats I'd love covered email me if you sling, tiny gauged ears, rainbow hair
- Pics & Videos:
- About Me:
***If you can take me to see either BONOBO or THIEVERY CORPORATION in DETROIT the shows are coming up, in the next month or so, EMAIL ME lexpletive AT gmail.com
I can't afford to go to either after the ER, busted window, and sudden move and I'm EXTREMELY bummed.
I'm relocating again over the next few weeks, and I'm trying to bank extra for the offline time moving and some impending car repairs. Every single token helps, but always hang on to that last one ;)
I'm a nerdy, pervy, sapiosexual, polyamorous, hypersexual, ethically slutty qweirdo and I loooooooove being naked with you.
I've been at this over a year now. In that time my room has helped me through some pretty terrible shit. Thank you.
I started here with multiple partners and their treatment of me while ill or vice versa has ended those relationships.
I still have multiple lovers and partners throughout the US and in a few other countries. Some I speak to occasionally, some nearly every day, others I see periodically. You know, like friends, that I also fuck.
I started broadcasting here April 1st 2016. Previous to that I had tried [and failed] at camming at the dawn of the millennium, I genuinely wish this place had existed then. Let's wax nostalgic about the 90s internet. BBS and html chats you had to refresh manually, anyone?
I have several medical diagnoses which I will sometimes discuss and am on the autism spectrum. My stimming behaviors from when I was bitty are part of my health problems today. If I have a bunch of bruises, it's because I run into things and bruise easily, doesn't happen as frequently when I can eat properly. Poor proprioception FTW! I hula hoop/dance for exercise and better balance. I used to be much chubbier so thank you for being kind. Yes I will hoop on cam when I'm in a room with enough space and I love to dance.
FAHQ [frequently asked hot questions]
- I don't wear a bra, and nearly everything I do wear is pajamas that don't look like pajamas. My shoes are a US 8.
- The total number of people I've pleasured in person is somewhere in the very low triple digits.
- I am not married. Not likely to be.
- I do not have kids and never will.
- I do have multiple loving relationships with consenting open adults. They are as unique and important as any close friendship just with extra rubbins.
Several of my mods are partners IRL and I am actively looking for couples and queers that are excited to get in front of a cam with me. I am only interested in meeting you in person if you are an already working adult performers, photographers, etc to collaborate with.
- I have a few semesters of college [photography and welding being my favorite classes] but no degrees. I have instead worked over 25 shitty entry level jobs between breakdowns and bouts of chronic illness, in attempts to prove that I am not lazy or above demeaning work.
CB is far more my speed I guess.
- I was inappropriately sexualized as well as exposed to a lot of really quality erotic art at a very early age. Curse, blessing, here we are.
- My first sexual experience was with a girl and I have had several female partners. The majority of them though have been with varying types of guys. I like much more than either girls or guys.
- My music tastes are pretty broad but I especially love anything you can dance or hump to.
- My mental erogenous zones are sex obviously, space and time, the brain, 90s comics (anyone at WW Chicago '98-'00? My lil sketch collection is pretty dope, tbh), illustration, photography, most discussions of art, philosophy, and all kinds of terribly geeky crap.
- I like all the adult genitals. Really. Just has to be connected to a stellar brain and I'm probably game. These days, I'm really only looking to further my experience with (DTF) couples, groups and ladies or butts (of whatever sex) preferably on cam/film.
- My bush has been this way for a decade and a half. Yes, it's been bald, yes, I could do other things with it, but it's my bush love it, like it, deal or GTFO. I'll continue to shave and trim the way I like. I'll dye the bush a fun color on cam at 50k followers.
- My hair and nails are one of the oldest parts of my self care routine, again, I'm set in my ways here, make suggestions at your own peril. I almost never wear make-up, and once again that's my prerogative.
- My favorite position depends on the person, it's all relative to body shape and fucking ability or style.
TURN ONS AND KINKS
Learning gives me a boner. I frequently watch Ted talks or uni lectures while I jerk more often than traditional porn.
I do love to watch cams, 100tk or check the hashtags for #watchu or #freeC2C #C2Cfree to know when i'm watching a group free for my own entertainment.
I have a preference for big brains and weird or unique bodies (if they have or would have made fun of you at school for it, it prob makes you hot to me) a bit more than stereo-typically pretty ones, I guess I have a kink for weirdos and underdogs, go fig. [finally figured out where my intense affinity for the physical weirdo comes from, so that's weird/fun]
I have a single true fetish and that is audio/aural. To get off I have to hear my partners moan, groan, grunt, and gasp with obvious pleasure. Let me hear you in a private c2c sometime or email me mp3s of your orgasms!
I orgasm once a day minimum, if you catch it here, it's genuine. Like real world sex, I'm here to get off with you, not for you so this room is a bit different than most. Lurking helps.
I love to hear about other performers you love at appropriate times and I am always looking to make new friends, find good mods, and other qweirdos to help keep me going 'round here.
I would get with you, if you are a queer broadcaster and excited to play on cam. I've spent so many years fucking straight guys because I like them too/wasn't accepting of my own queerness, and I'm just ready to be with more people that are more like me.
Ultimately, I want to make loving art porn with like-minded perverts.
- Wish List:
For you to follow me if you like anything you see here.
PRETTY PLEASE for the love of all that is buttholy help me keep that thumbs up score over 100%
Also stop sending me [or *anyone* not expressly asking for one right that moment] your dick pics. I said TIT pics. Read mofos. I'm an artist, but I'm no kidd bell so I don't have time to make art out of your dicks right now, I'm too busy looking for a real studio. [if you have one to rent in PA, MI, OH or IN for under $400 contact me any way you can STILL NO PMs, see below]
"I emailed you but you never emailed me back..."
Ok dudes. I can't respond to everyone. I tell you to email me because of like 50 things, here's a sample:
-I have Memento-esque memory problems related to head trauma ['You don't look disabled' gets you an immediate ban btw, if you are too ill-cultured to know what an invisible illness is, you can fuck off. The only games we play around here are "ban the bot" and "ban the fuck out of the ill-mannered" I prefer "flick the bean and pound the butthole" but some very uncool greys make this harder than it should be]
- If you email me just your name from the chat, you might as well be sending me a random dick. I have no recollection of speaking to you and we may have to talk many days in a row for me to have any real impression of you whatsoever. Give me details.
- YOU MUST include details. If you have a photo or video studio you'd like to share with me as a model, email me as if booking a fucking model or photographer since that's what I'm used to personally. I will collaborate with amazing artists, but I've shot history-making erotic art. Randos shooting fetish in their basement are not going to impress me. Nor will a portfolio full of naked white women in the desert. Sorry I love a GWC as much as the next aspiring pervert, but the work has to be mutually beneficial or you pay me. Because of my income limitations, I will gladly accept travel and accommodations as payment in exchange for unique work that we can both use commercially. Yes I am, at least that privileged. Go me. EMAIL me. I will NEVER discuss travel plans with my dick in my hand, nor should you. lexpletive AT gmail
- If you want or can take me to a specific trip [concert, etc] email me the exact dates and as much info as possible. Will I need to arrange my own transportation or accomodations? Do you have weird stuff i need to know about? Should I bring a bathing suit? A goat-faced fidget spinner to sacrifice? A PKE meter? This stuff is important.
-I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING TO MOVE AGAIN so whatever august or september travel was maybe possible back in april, is now maybe possible in january if I get and manage to keep my shit together that rapidly for that long. My hopes are not high. Wish me luck and gimme a thumbs up if you're just here checking on me. <3 Seriously though, make plans to work or play with me in 2018, it'll probably save my life.
We got really close to 50k followers within my first year. <3 you all so much. We're still dying the bush when we get there, provided I'm not in the middle of moving.
Aiming for a small studio space with high ceilings and fast net access, on a private island with nothing but libraries full of comics. Or a van down by the river. Until then...
1001 tk single tip
HIGHEST TIP in 2016: 1000
10,000 tk single tip
MOST TIPS overall from a single tipper: 9591
And keeping my 25tk thumbs up score on the desktop site over 300 would be a record.
Help me buy boring essentials with ANY gift cards to lexpletive gmail . Most helpful thing right now, tbh.
or spoil me with level ups
I love to travel as much as possible to be with my partners all over the world now, and occasionally new friends.
Donate to my travel fund to make even one of these things happen.
Invite me somewhere I couldn't otherwise go.
I AM TRYING TO VISIT A PARTNER IN FRANCE, it would be nice to get to LONDON or AMSTERDAM also while I'm there. If you want to see it happen, help me out. Aiming for Oct/Nov at this rate.
Possibly COLORADO before summer is out EMAIL me if you want to book photo/video/cam time with me, or to help extend my stay.
*Travel is dependent upon my living situation being sorted for at least 6 months.
Photographers, videographers, MUAs, illustrators, queer broadcasters, I wanna have your art babies! Let's make stuff.
Calling all queer cammers! to join this subreddit to create a promotion and support community for us, since I couldn't fucking find one, and as a pansexual subscribing to like 15 different subs just to find some decent fap material gets old. I doubt I'm the only one.
If it get's out of hand, it'll just become private, but until then, let's share some queer cams and bitch about cb always being down. If I'm the only one posting, it's just looks like self-promo, soooooo....help a nerd out.
If you're the kind of perv that shares your porn with your friends, please do!
However you choose to support me in this art, please stay within your budget! I try, like a good faptender, to cut y'all off when you get crazy. Making your situation worse does not make mine better. Give only if and when you can actually afford to. I'll be here.
TIT pics, fan art, love/hate mail (please no Vogon poetry), job offers, and PP/GC donations
If you find ANY photos or videos of me elsewhere, please send a link and/or copy of the file to me at lexpletive gmail so I can share it here.
SIGN UP FREE to or to with us
PLEASE click that bate link to create an account if you're planning to broadcast/c2c here. I know I've introduced/inspired a number of performers and the little bit of help would REALLY help. It will NOT share your username with me.