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Thelexmachine's Bio and Free Webcam

Real Name:
Birth Date:
May 23, 1981
Interested In:
Men, Women, Trans, Couples
the wrong planet |
Last Broadcast:
3 days, 7 hours
English-progressive 1st world, un petit peu Français, body/nonverbal, gibberish, troll, one-handed type and autocorrect
Body Type:
body positive
Smoke / Drink:
Dig stoners. Not a fan of cigarettes or alcohol.
Body Decorations:
3 small tats I'd love covered email me if you sling, tiny gauged ears, rainbow hair everywhere
Pics & Videos:
putting on a stra...
12+min manual mas...
Titplay b4 shower
3:12 glass dp
About Me:

Erock and I have not played together in over a year, so behave yourselves and enjoy us enjoying each other!


Seriously go follow
I need your organic numbers and not the insane number of bots this room has accrued.

TRAVEL NOTICES (no, I won't play with you unless you are bi+ and work in the industry):
NYC/NJ - **CANCELLED** still trying to get there for a visit
Email me if you would like to cam together (5k cb followers min, more is better, very rare exceptions may be made) or you would like to shoot portfolio work and a few images or videos I can sell commercially (I suck at sales, so I'm not even making rent from any of it)

DETROIT - Come to my studio for photos. shoot or be shot. email me a link to your work with the subject BOOKING

LONDON - May 23-Jun 8
same. I'm booking shoots that leave me with a guest bed or hotel for the night. I have friends in both places so should be set for couches to surf, guest beds always a bonus.

Concerts, music festivals, nerd conventions, nude beaches, art installations and food are reasons enough for me to travel. Pick one and lets go.
Vanilla meet ops will be whatever concerts and conventions I can get to.


I'm a nerdy, pervy, sapiosexual, polyamorous, hypersexual, ethically slutty qweirdo and I loooooooove being naked with you.

I've been at this over a year and some change now. In that time my room has helped me through near homelessness and some pretty terrible shit. Thank you.

I started here with multiple partners and their treatment of me while ill or vice versa has ended those relationships. I am finally healthy enough to even consider dating again and so far it's been nice.

I still have multiple lovers and partners throughout the US and in a few other countries. Some I speak to occasionally, some nearly every day, others I see periodically. You know, like friends, that I also fuck. At this point, I'm not taking on partners irl that aren't at least bi and preferably in the industry in SOME fashion. If I had time for everyone, I'd bang you all, unfortunately that's not realistic. I REALLY DO love jerking together though! Especially when we're all on the same page

I started broadcasting here April 1st 2016. Previous to that I had tried [and failed] at camming at the dawn of the millennium, I genuinely wish this place had existed then. Let's wax nostalgic about the 90s internet. BBS and html chats you had to refresh manually, anyone? 

I have several medical diagnoses which I will sometimes discuss and am on the autism spectrum. My stimming behaviors from when I was bitty are part of my health problems today. If I have a bunch of bruises, it's because I run into things and bruise easily, doesn't happen as frequently when I can eat properly. Poor proprioception FTW! I hula hoop/dance for exercise and better balance. I used to be much chubbier so thank you for being kind. Yes I will hoop on cam when I'm in the mood and I love to dance.

FAHQ [frequently asked hot questions]

  1. I don't wear a bra, and nearly everything I do wear is pajamas that don't look like pajamas. My shoes are a US 8. Armpits are NOT hairy, I'm not into the way it feels. In the winter my legs are, because I like not bothering and none of my hair is thick anyway. MY PARTNERS HAVE ZERO CONTROL OVER MY APPEARANCE and that includes you.

  2. The total number of people I've pleasured in person is somewhere in the very low triple digits.

  3. I am not married. Not likely to be.

  4. I do not have kids, scratch that I have NEGATIVE 2 children [also none of your business], and never will. An 18yr creative project that results in a human is not something anyone with this many head injuries should attempt. I have trouble with plants...shit I have trouble maintaining inanimate objects.

  5. I do have multiple loving relationships with consenting open adults. They are as unique and important as any close friendship just with extra rubbins.
    Several of my mods are partners IRL and I am actively looking for couples and queers that are excited to get in front of a cam with me. I am only interested in meeting you in person if you are an already working adult performers, photographers, etc to collaborate with.

  6. I have a few semesters of college [photography and welding being my favorite classes] but no degrees. I have instead worked over 25 shitty entry level jobs between breakdowns and bouts of chronic illness, in attempts to prove that I am not lazy or above demeaning work.
    CB is far more my speed I guess. 

  7. I was inappropriately sexualized as well as exposed to a lot of really quality erotic art at a very early age. Curse, blessing, here we are.

  8. My first sexual experience was with a girl and I have had several female partners. The majority of them though have been with varying types of guys. I like much more than either girls or guys.

  9. My music tastes are pretty broad but I especially love anything you can dance or hump to.

  10. My mental erogenous zones are sex obviously, space and time, the brain, 90s comics (anyone at WW Chicago '98-'00? My lil sketch collection is pretty dope, tbh), illustration, photography, most discussions of art, philosophy, and all kinds of terribly geeky crap.

  11. I like all the adult genitals. Really. Just has to be connected to a stellar brain and I'm probably game. These days, I'm really only looking to further my experience with (DTF) couples, groups and ladies or butts (of whatever sex) preferably on cam/film.

  12. I've been wearing a bush for a decade and a half. Yes, it's been bald, yes, I could do other things with it, but it's my bush love it, like it, deal or GTFO. I'll continue to shave, color, and trim the way I like.

  13. My hair and nails are one of the oldest parts of my self care routine, again, I'm set in my ways here, make suggestions at your own peril. I almost never wear make-up, and once again that's my prerogative.
  14. My favorite position depends on the person, it's all relative to body shape and fucking ability or style.


Learning gives me a boner. I frequently watch Ted talks or uni lectures while I jerk more often than traditional porn.
I do love to watch cams, 100tk or check the hashtags for #watchu or #freeC2C #C2Cfree to know when i'm watching a group free for my own entertainment.

I have a preference for big brains and weird or unique bodies (if they have or would have made fun of you at school for it, it prob makes you hot to me) a bit more than stereo-typically pretty ones, I guess I have a kink for weirdos and underdogs, go fig. [finally figured out where my intense affinity for the physical weirdo comes from, so that's weird/fun]
I have a single true fetish and that is audio/aural. To get off I have to hear my partners moan, groan, grunt, and gasp with obvious pleasure. Let me hear you in a private c2c sometime or email me mp3s of your orgasms!
I orgasm once a day minimum, if you catch it here, it's genuine. Like real world sex, I'm here to get off with you, not for you so this room is a bit different than most. Lurking helps.
I love to hear about other performers you love at appropriate times and I am always looking to make new friends, find good mods, and other qweirdos to help keep me going 'round here.

I would get with you, if you are a queer broadcaster and excited to play on cam. I've spent so many years fucking straight guys because I like them too/wasn't accepting of my own queerness, and I'm just ready to be with more people that are more like me.

Ultimately, I want to make loving art porn with like-minded perverts.

Wish List:

For you to follow me if you like anything you see here.

PRETTY PLEASE for the love of all that is buttholy help me keep that thumbs up score over 100%
Also stop sending me [or *anyone* not expressly asking for one right that moment] your dick pics. I said TIT pics. Read mofos. I'm an artist, but I'm no kidd bell so I don't have time to make art out of your dicks right now, I'm too busy trying to get well and make my own smut.

"I emailed you but you never emailed me back..."
Ok dudes. I can't respond to everyone. I tell you to email me because of like 50 things, here's a sample:
-I have Memento-esque memory problems related to head trauma ['You don't look disabled' gets you an immediate ban btw, if you are too ill-cultured to know what an invisible illness is, you can fuck off. The only games we play around here are "ban the bot" and "ban the fuck out of the ill-mannered" I prefer "flick the bean and pound the butthole" but some very uncool greys make this harder than it should be]
- If you email me just your name from the chat, you might as well be sending me a random dick. I have no recollection of speaking to you and we may have to talk many days in a row for me to have any real impression of you whatsoever. Give me details.
- YOU MUST include details. If you have a photo or video studio you'd like to share with me as a model, email me as if booking a fucking model or photographer since that's what I'm used to personally. I will collaborate with amazing artists, but I've shot history-making erotic art. Randos shooting fetish in their basement are not going to impress me. Nor will a portfolio full of naked white women in the desert. Sorry I love a GWC as much as the next aspiring pervert, but the work has to be mutually beneficial or you pay me. Because of my income limitations, I will gladly accept travel and accommodations as payment in exchange for unique work that we can both use commercially. Yes I am, at least that privileged. Go me. EMAIL me. I will NEVER discuss travel plans with my dick in my hand, nor should you. lexpletive AT gmail
- If you want or can take me to a specific trip [concert, nude beach, new zealand, whatever] email me the exact dates and as much info as possible. Will I need to arrange my own transportation or accommodations? Do you have weird stuff i need to know about? Should I bring a bathing suit? A goat-faced fidget spinner to sacrifice? A PKE meter? This stuff is important.
-I just moved into a studio near Detroit where I'm shooting portraits of other qweirdos.
Make plans to work with me in 2018, it'll probably save my life.

We got to 50k followers and dyed the bush just after i moved.

I was aiming for a small studio space with high ceilings and fast net access, on a private island with nothing but libraries full of comics. Or a van down by the river. and got the first two, which honestly is more than I thought I was going to find. It eats up 80% of my garaunteed income. I need to earn my max allowance just to pay my other bills and maintain my car. Right now that's a little over 20k tokens per month which is about a grand. I lived on less than $1k a month in 2015, i made less than $12000 that year and wasn't sure I was going to survive it. I'm still here, so let's see what and who I can do...
Aiming for some porn heroes, happy just to make smut with people that love it as much as I do. [hey it worked last time, maybe this profile is magic]

1001 tk single tip
HIGHEST TIP in 2016: 1000
10,000 tk single tip
MOST TIPS overall from a single tipper: 9591
And keeping my 25tk thumbs up score on the desktop site over 300 would be a record.

Help me buy boring essentials with ANY gift cards to lexpletive gmail . Always the most helpful thing, as much as I love new lingerie.

or spoil me with level ups
[no one has ever bought from this list]

I love to travel as much as possible to be with my partners all over the world now, and occasionally new friends.
Donate to my travel fund to make even one of these things happen.
Invite me somewhere I couldn't otherwise go.
I AM TRYING TO VISIT A PARTNER IN FRANCE, it would be nice to get to LONDON or AMSTERDAM also while I'm there. If you want to see it happen, help me out. Aiming for spring at this rate.
Possibly COLORADO literally any time EMAIL me if you want to book photo/video/cam time with me, or to help extend my stay.

Photographers, videographers, MUAs, illustrators, queer broadcasters, I wanna have your art babies! Let's make stuff.

Calling all queer cammers! to join this subreddit to promote themselves.
If it get's out of hand, it'll just become private, but until then, let's share some queer cams and bitch about cb always being down. If I'm the only one posting, it's just looks like self-promo, a nerd out. I haven't looked at it in a few months...

If you're the kind of perv that shares your porn with your friends, please do!
However you choose to support me in this art, please stay within your budget! I try, like a good faptender, to cut y'all off when you get crazy. Making your situation worse does not make mine better. Give only if and when you can actually afford to. I'll be here. That said, if you can afford to just dump money all over some person, this is true trickle down fapanomics. Your money is going directly to help disabled midwestern queer white trash live a less garbage life. Yes, getting naked on the internet is a LESS garbage life. That's precisely my point. AND a bunch of other pervs benefit, it's wins all around.


TIT pics, fan art, love/hate mail (please no Vogon poetry), job offers, and PP/GC donations

If you find ANY photos or videos of me elsewhere, please send a link and/or copy of the file to me at lexpletive gmail so I can share it here.

SIGN UP FREE to or to with us
PLEASE click that bate link to create an account if you're planning to broadcast/c2c here. I know I've introduced/inspired a number of performers and the little bit of help would REALLY help. It will NOT share your username with me.